Developing Emotional Literacy and Self-Esteem in Children.

What is Emotional Literacy, and why is it important?

While there is considerable discussion about how emotional intelligence is defined and measured, it is clear that if children are aware of their emotions and can identify and be sensitive to the emotions of others (i.e. they can read a situation), they are more likely to be able to act or react effectively, and this heightened awareness can influence success in life.

Research also suggests that children who can effectively identify and label their feelings and the feelings of others - who have the words to describe what they feel or what they observe -- are generally more articulate and verbally expressive, influencing their ability to write well and to go beyond the text, deriving inferences from what they read.

These abilities are sometimes collectively referred to as Emotional Literacy, and the outward impact can be described as Emotional Maturity.

So how can we help our children develop early emotional awareness and literacy?

Feelings and emotions, like what you see or hear, have names and can be described. By sharing rich vocabulary surrounding emotions and feelings to children at an early age, we are developing their ability to recognize and describe what they feel, and in turn, they will be able to recognize similar emotions in others. We know how important it is to talk to babies to stimulate brain development and develop language skills. Early introduction to the vocabulary of feelings will similarly increase awareness and familiarity, and blossom into emotional understanding and literacy when your child is developmentally ready.

Children also learn from adult role models. When you talk through a situation out loud, expressing your feelings, coming up with solutions and executing appropriate actions, you are helping your children recognize their own feelings, and giving them the tools to deal with situations effectively.

Empathy is a key component of Emotional Literacy, and the basis of all social skills. Empathy is being understood from one’s point of view, and should not be confused with sympathy, which is a sharing of similar feelings. You can have empathy for someone without feeling sympathy for them. Without empathy, it is difficult to make a connection with a person and have any real impact or influence. Children are born with the ability and desire to empathize, but this quality must be nourished. They learn the importance of empathy in solving problems in social situations, and how to effectively express empathy, when they see adult role models doing the same.

What is the link between Emotional Literacy and Self-Esteem?

When children encounter a set back, and they can see the solutions rather than the road blocks they have more control of the situation, increasing their self-image and esteem. Often, set backs occur in an emotionally charged social situation, or when something happens that makes us feel angry or sad. However, if despite this a child can read a situation and come up with solutions to successfully handle the problem, their confidence in themselves increases. Being emotionally literate can be key to this type of problem/conflict resolution.

At a very early age, your baby expressed needs and you took care of them. This increased her confidence in the validity of her own feelings, and her ability to express herself. By empathizing with her, and letting her know that her feelings were important, you were establishing a foundation for self-confident emotional growth and maturity.

Are there things I can do with my child to develop emotional literacy?

Ongoing role modeling, taking the time to talk through situations openly when opportunities arise, and appropriate verbalization of empathy, can increase a child’s emotional literacy.

In addition, there are activities that offer opportunities to introduce and reinforce these important concepts with your children:

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1. Puppets. Use pretend play with puppets to introduce and model conversations or situations. Puppet play can help develop language skills, and confidant verbal expression. Pretend characters and conversations can also introduce and explore the language of emotions, increasing a child’s ability to read others’emotions as well as express their own. Children can start to engage in early, simple pretend play as young as 1 or 2 years, and at age 3 actively express imaginary tales and characters.
2. Board Games. Turn taking, winning and losing gracefully, and establishing and agreeing on rules are just a few of the basic social skills that board games reinforce. In addition, repeated play can lead to mastery while challenging a child to balance their self-confidence with humility and gracious social conduct. It is this level of emotional maturity and security that becomes the foundation for leadership skills. Starting around age 3, children can start to play simple turn-taking games such as Concentration. We have wonderful beginning games for preschoolers, with easy to learn rules and fun age-appropriate gameplay, and games adults and families will enjoy together.
3. Science Projects, Crafts or Building Toys. These types of projects offer wonderful opportunities to learn how to handle frustrations, work together as a pair or team (with a parent, friend or a group), solve a problem, experience personal success and satisfaction of a job well done. Some of these projects will also allow a certain degree of creative expression, which leads to an “I did that!” level of self-esteem.
4. Music. Making music, participating in song and dance, can become an alternate channel for expression and self-esteem. Music instruments safe to use with children as young as 2, although baby rattles can also be used as rhythm instruments for infants and toddlers.
5. Books. Stories with characters that are emotionally literate (or not, and how conflict is resolved) can provide helpful modeling. Poems or stories where characters model unconditional love, or provide examples of trust and friendship found in personal relationships, can help establish emotional bonds and lay a secure emotional foundation for a child.
6. Magic sets are excellent opportunities to develop a skill that will gain admiration and respect, leading to increased self-esteem. The patience and practice required to master illusions and magic tricks, exemplifies the reward that comes with dedication and commitment to learning a craft.
7. Humor is an important social skill, and is therefore a critical component of emotional literacy. One’s ability to laugh and enjoy life is dependent on a sense of humor, and this quality can also aid in getting along with others and coping with a wide variety of problems that adults typically face. Stories, illustrations for toys and games, can often reflect a humorous, whimsical, playful quality that is a first step in building an appreciation of humor. For early exposure to humor and loads of baby laughs, be sure to check out the iKids Baby Bundle of More Playtime Fun, with a book of mix-and-match pictures and a peek-a-boo book of “masks” for parents and baby.